That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
