Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
