Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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