Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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