She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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