While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
