i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
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