Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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