How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I won't apologize to a one balled man
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
