You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
it glows. i had to have it.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize