You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
