On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
