so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Randomize
