I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
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