there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize