she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
