God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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