i really wish james franco would like my vagina
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize