6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize