i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
