Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
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