FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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