butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I think my vagina is haunted
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just found puke in my bra..
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
