You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
