Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
