Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
