yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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