There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
