In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
