Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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