They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
