that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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