She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She told me I should be a condom model.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
