just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
