Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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