where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
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Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
