You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just cut my nipple shaving
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
