just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
