If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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