I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
