And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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