i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
