My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
