I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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