I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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