East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
