I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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