Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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