Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
