I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
