i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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