I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize