The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
