I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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