woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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