Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I enjoy the company of your penis
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
