I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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