And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
